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I feel angry

What is anger?

Find out more about anger and why you might feel this way...

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What is anger?
What is anger?

What is anger?

Anger is an emotion that everyone feels. It’s normal to feel angry from time to time and this can happen because of something that’s happened or the way we have been treated.

Sometimes feeling angry is a good thing. It can help to keep us safe, work out when something is not good for us or help us to change and grow. It can become a problem when it makes you or others around you feel bad or unsafe.

Angry people

Angry people

When we think of people being angry, we think of them shouting or throwing things; but anger doesn’t always look like this.

Sometimes if you’re feeling angry you might decide to do things that you normally wouldn’t. This could be being rude or unkind to people, spending time with people that may get you in to trouble or giving up things that you used to enjoy.

You might not know why you feel angry, it could be because of stress, a loss of control or something else that has happened in your past.

Understanding what your anger feels like can help you with managing it. Do any of the responses below happen to you when you might be angry?

Do I have a problem with anger?

Feeling some anger in response to a difficult or annoying situation is normal, but there are times where anger can become more of a problem and you may need some support to manage it.

Tick the boxes if any of the following apply to you: 

Coping with angry feelings can be really hard and lonely. Scroll down to learn some ways of managing these feelings. 
Coping with angry feelings can be really hard and lonely. Scroll down to learn some ways of managing these feelings. 
Coping with angry feelings can be really hard and lonely. Scroll down to learn some ways of managing these feelings. 
Coping with angry feelings can be really hard and lonely. Scroll down to learn some ways of managing these feelings. 
Coping with angry feelings can be really hard and lonely. Scroll down to learn some ways of managing these feelings. 

Do I have something wrong with me?

Find out how others manage their anger and how you can help yourself.

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Do I have something wrong with me?

Check your temperature

Cool:

  • You feel healthy and happy most of the time.
  • You sometimes feel angry in response to things that happen, but you can show this in a way that isn’t harmful to you or others.
  • You’re on top of your anger! Feeling angry is important as it can help us to understand if we have been treated unfairly or if we need to get out of a situation. You can accept your angry feelings and talk about them to others without hurting them or yourself.

 

Warm:

  • You feel angry some of the time.
  • You find yourself feeling angry towards yourself or others because of things that happen or reasons you don’t understand. Your anger can be harmful to you or others. In some situations you find it difficult to control your anger.
  • It sounds like it might be good to get some help with your anger. Take a look at the self-prescription below and try out some of the suggestions to keep your anger In check.

 

Hot:

  • You feel angry a lot of the time or your anger feels uncontrollable.
  • You can feel overwhelmed by your anger and find it difficult to control your angry responses. This can end up hurting others or yourself.
  • Struggling with anger can feel isolating and have a real impact on your own mental health; as well as other areas of your life. Click on our self-prescription below to make a start on managing your anger.

If one or more of these applies to you it doesn’t necessarily mean you have an “anger problem,” but have a look through our self-prescription below to see if this could help.

Sam’s story

Sam’s story

"It all started when my parents told me and my sister they were separating. My dad moved out and I started only seeing him on the weekends. I felt confused and angry and started getting in to trouble at school. When I came home I would shut myself in my room, I didn’t want to talk to anyone.

I used to go to the skate park all the time, but I stopped going out as much and told my dad I didn’t want to see him anymore. That just ended up making me feel worse. I’d shout at my mum and sister and hit walls during arguments. I felt like no one cared about me.

A friend messaged me who’s parents had also got divorced, he told me a bit about how angry and sad he had felt. I knew how hard it must have been for him to open up and knowing someone else had felt the same already made me feel a bit better.

I still don’t feel totally better and I feel ashamed about how I behaved towards my mum and sister but I’m starting to learn about how I can make it up to them and that helps." – Sam, 14

How can I manage my anger?

We have put together a few useful resources on how to improve how you're feeling.

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How can I manage my anger?

Step 1. Know your triggers

Sometimes it can be hard to work out what is making you angry. Try and keep a record (you can do this on your phone or on paper) of the times you have felt angry. Record the following:

  • What happened before?
  • How did you respond?
  • What happened afterwards?
  • How did you feel?

Knowing more about this will help you know which situations make you angry so that you can learn how to approach them or avoid them.

Swipe left to find Step 2!

Step 1. Know your triggers
Step 2. Check your temperature

Step 2. Check your temperature

Think of a situation that has made you angry in the past. Use the temperature gauge to work out what was going on for you at each stage.

  • What was happening in your body?
  • What was happening in your mind?
  • What were your actions?

Is there a stage where you could have calmed down and responded in a different way? Where is it on the temperature and what were you thinking and feeling?

Swipe left to find Step 3!

Step 3. Think about your choices

Step 3. Think about your choices

Once you know more about the things that cause your anger and you found the stage where you might have been able to do things differently, you can start to think about what your other choices are.

When faced with your next angry situation you could:

  • Chose to respond angrily,
  • Recognise the situation before it happens and avoid it,
  • Find a positive way to respond

Swipe left to find Step 4!

Step 4. Find your calm

Step 4. Find your calm

What do you enjoy doing and what do you do to relax? These activities could be something you do at any time or when you start to notice yourself feeling angry. For example-

  • Going for a walk
  • Listening to music
  • Playing with a pet
  • Doing some exercise
  • Reading a book
  • Doing exercise
  • Spending time with people you love

Swipe left to find Step 5!

Step 5. Ask for help!

Step 5. Ask for help!

It’s good to talk but telling others that you’re struggling with anger can be a hard conversation to start.

Start by choosing someone you trust and starting the conversation in a place where you are comfortable and both have time to talk.

You could start by saying something like:

“I’ve noticed that I’ve been feeling angry lately and I think I might need some help with it.”

“How I’m feeling is really bothering me, can we chat about it?”

“Have you ever found it hard to control your anger? It’s something I’m struggling with at the moment.”

Talking to your GP can also help and they can point you in the direction fo professional support f that could help

Get Help

Get Help

If you feel that your anger is getting in the way of your day to day life, it may be a good idea to get some help. Click here to find mental health support services in your area.

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